You don't have to arrive with the right diagnosis. You can simply arrive with your experience.
Sex therapy is psychotherapy focused on sexuality, intimacy, sexual relationships, and concerns that may affect our ability to experience connection and pleasure.
It can include exploring desire, sexual communication, shame, boundaries, intimacy, body image, sexual identity, relationship patterns, sexual difficulties, and the ways past experiences may influence sexuality in the present.
My approach is not simply about “fixing” a sexual problem. Together, we can explore what kind of sexual and relational life feels meaningful and authentic to you.
No. You don't need a diagnosis or a clearly defined sexual problem. You might come because sex has become difficult, disconnected, routine, pressured or confusing. Or you may simply want to understand yourself and your sexuality more deeply.
Sex therapy can also be about moving beyond “everything is technically working” toward greater presence, pleasure, intimacy, authenticity and connection.
Research by Peggy Kleinplatz and A. Dana Ménard has taken this broader approach, studying people who describe their sexual experiences as extraordinarily fulfilling rather than focusing only on sexual dysfunction. Their work identified recurring qualities of highly satisfying erotic experiences, including embodiment, connection, authenticity, vulnerability, communication and exploration.
You don't have to know. These areas often overlap. A relationship concern may have a trauma component. A sexual concern may involve attachment or communication. A trauma history may affect embodiment and intimacy. A difficulty with desire may have relational, emotional, physical and contextual dimensions.
We can begin with what is happening and figure out together what kind of support makes sense.
We'll begin by talking about what brings you in and what you hope might become different. You don't need to tell me everything immediately.
We'll also explore relevant aspects of your history, relationships, sexuality and current circumstances, depending on what feels appropriate. If you're interested in somatic work, we may begin noticing how certain topics show up in your body.
The first session is also an opportunity for you to decide whether the relationship feels like a good fit. You are not committing to a particular therapeutic path simply by coming in.
You are not unusual. Many people have never had a place where they could speak openly about sexuality without feeling judged, embarrassed or evaluated.
You might worry that your desire is too much, too little, too unusual, too conventional, too complicated—or that you “should” want something different.
You don't need to impress me. You don't need to shock me. And you don't need to have the right vocabulary. We can start wherever you are.
Low desire is one of the most common reasons people seek sex therapy. Rather than assuming that low desire is simply something to increase, we can become curious about what is happening around it. We might explore:
Sometimes the question isn't simply “How do I increase desire?” It may be: “What would make sexuality desirable again?” This shift toward creating conditions for desirable, meaningful sexual experiences is an important theme in Kleinplatz and Ménard's work.
Differences in desire are extremely common. They can become painful when one person feels rejected and the other feels pressured, pursued, obligated or inadequate.
Therapy can help us understand the cycle that develops between you rather than deciding that one partner is “the problem.” We might explore how you communicate about sex, how pressure enters the relationship, what each of you needs in order to feel safe and open, and how you might create forms of intimacy that are genuinely desirable for both people.
The goal isn't necessarily to make your desire levels identical. It is to develop greater understanding, choice, communication and connection.
A great deal. Sexuality is not only something we think about. It is something we experience through our bodies.
Yet many people find themselves mentally somewhere else during intimacy—thinking about their appearance, worrying about their partner's response, monitoring their performance, anticipating what comes next, or carrying an endless mental to-do list. Kleinplatz and colleagues identified being fully present, focused and embodied as a recurring component of extraordinary sexual experiences.
Somatic therapy offers another way of approaching this. Rather than asking only, “What are you thinking?”, we can also ask: “What are you noticing?” “What happens in your body when you feel desire?” “What happens when you feel seen?” “What happens when you slow down?”
The goal isn't to perform embodiment correctly. It is to become more available to your own experience.
This is something we can explore gently. Some people feel numb, distant or detached from their bodies during intimacy. Others become hyper-aware of how they look or how they are performing. For people with histories of trauma, the body can sometimes become associated with danger, shame, vigilance or loss of control.
Somatic work can help us develop a different relationship with bodily experience—slowly and collaboratively. You do not have to force yourself to feel something. We can begin with very small moments of noticing, choice, grounding and safety.
That's okay. Knowing what you don't want can be an important beginning.
We can explore your experiences of pleasure, curiosity, attraction, safety, fantasy, boundaries, desire and connection without assuming that you need to arrive at a predetermined answer. Sometimes sexuality becomes clearer when we have permission to become curious rather than trying to perform an identity.
Yes. Traumatic experiences can influence how someone experiences their body, boundaries, trust, intimacy, arousal, desire and ability to remain present.
But there is no single way trauma affects sexuality. Some people experience avoidance or numbness. Others may seek intensity, control, connection or reassurance. Some people experience very little difficulty sexually despite having experienced trauma.
We don't need to assume what your sexuality means based on your history. The aim is not to define your sexuality through trauma. It is to help you have more choice in how you experience your body, relationships and sexuality now.
No. You decide what you want to share. Trauma-informed therapy does not require you to provide every detail of what happened.
Sometimes we can work with what is happening in the present—your sensations, emotions, relationships, boundaries and responses—without going deeply into the history. If difficult material does emerge, we can approach it gradually and with attention to your capacity.
Yes. Couples therapy can provide space to explore sexual and relational patterns that are difficult to shift on your own—differences in desire, communication, intimacy, sexual disconnection, conflict, trust, infidelity, changing relationship agreements, transitions in long-term relationships, sexual shame, body image, erotic connection and consensual non-monogamy.
The focus isn't on deciding who is right. It is on understanding what happens between you and creating more room for honesty, choice and connection.
Absolutely. Sex therapy is not only for couples. Individual therapy can be an opportunity to explore your sexuality, relationships, body, desire, boundaries and patterns of intimacy.
You might want to understand why relationships tend to unfold in a particular way. You might want to reconnect with your sexuality after a difficult experience. You might be exploring your identity. Or you might simply want to develop a richer relationship with your own body and desire.
Yes. I welcome people across sexual orientations, gender identities and relationship structures. You don't need to educate me about your identity or defend your relationship.
Therapy can be a place to explore sexuality and relationships within the context of your actual life rather than against a presumed heterosexual or monogamous norm.
Yes. I approach relationship structures without assuming that monogamy is the only healthy model. We can explore consensual non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships and kink-informed concerns with attention to communication, consent, boundaries, agreements, trust, jealousy, vulnerability and authenticity.
The question isn't whether your relationship looks conventional. The question is whether the relationships you are creating are consensual, workable, respectful and aligned with your values.
No. Sex therapy is psychotherapy. There is no sexual activity or sexual contact between therapist and client.
We may talk openly about sexuality and, when appropriate, explore thoughts, emotions, sensations, communication patterns, beliefs and therapeutic practices that you may choose to experiment with outside of sessions. Your boundaries remain central throughout the work.
Somatic Experiencing can include supportive touch in some clinical contexts, but touch is never required. If touch were ever considered as part of somatic work, it would be discussed explicitly beforehand, based on clinical appropriateness and within clear professional boundaries.
You can always say no. You can change your mind. And somatic work can be done entirely without touch. Any therapeutic touch is distinct from sexual contact.
Psychotherapy can be helpful alongside appropriate medical care, but it does not replace medical assessment. Sexual functioning can be influenced by medications, hormones, chronic illness, pain, neurological conditions, reproductive health, aging and many other physical factors.
When appropriate, we can work collaboratively with other healthcare professionals while exploring the emotional, relational and embodied dimensions of your experience.
Not necessarily. Frequency isn't the only measure of a satisfying sexual life. Kleinplatz and Ménard's research challenges the assumption that the quantity of sexual activity or the achievement of orgasm alone tells us whether sexuality is deeply fulfilling, emphasizing instead qualities such as presence, connection, authenticity, vulnerability, communication and exploration.
For some people, the goal may be more sexual connection. For others, it may be less pressure. For someone else, it may be discovering what they actually want. The goal is not a number. The goal is a sexual life that feels meaningful to you.
I don't think there is one definition. But I am interested in sexuality that allows for greater presence, authenticity, connection, curiosity and choice.
Kleinplatz's research is particularly influential here because it shifts attention away from a narrow model of sexual performance and toward what people describe when sexuality feels deeply fulfilling. That can include pleasure. But it can also include being fully present, feeling genuinely known, communicating without performance, taking interpersonal risks, allowing vulnerability, discovering something new together, and feeling deeply connected.
Sex doesn't have to look a certain way to be meaningful.
Long-term relationships can change. Bodies change. Desire changes. Responsibilities change. Relationships change.
Rather than assuming that the solution is to recreate the beginning of the relationship, we can explore what might make erotic connection meaningful now. Kleinplatz and Ménard's research challenges the idea that extraordinary sex belongs only to a honeymoon period, focusing on people who have developed deeply fulfilling sexual relationships over time.
Sometimes the work is less about recreating what you once had and more about discovering what is possible now.
Ask them in a free 15-minute resonance check by phone or video, or email samricetherapy@gmail.com.